I am such an in-my-head kind of planner, and I’ve been thinking about/planning for a potential #2 for so long, that I realize I have forgotten to let A in on my plans at all. For months I was planning an artificial insemination (at first I thought I would do an at-home low-tech turkey baster version) before I thought to let him know.
It turns out he is against the IUI, as he deems it unnatural. I think he’s thinking of it in the same way I was thinking about trying in March vs. April– he doesn’t want to have that kind of explicit “control” over the resulting child. Also I guess he’d just rather have sex without a condom for once. Ahem. But in case you think I am exaggerating about the pain and my reason for doing IUI, I will tell you that the one time a nurse looked at my area after condomless sex, she said it looked like I’d been raped. I’m not kidding around about this stuff. So, while I find it vaguely curious and somewhat interesting that he is anti-IUI, I don’t really care!
The other thing is that I asked him what he thought about March vs. April and he immediately said April, because it’s farther away. It always surprises me when he acts like a “typical” guy, because mostly he doesn’t. I know he didn’t feel quite ready to try the first time– but the threat of infertility and recurrent miscarriage suddenly changed his mind! I think he was mentally much more ready to be a dad when Gatito finally got here than he would have been if it had happened the first month. But apparently he’s not at all concerned about our ability to have a second and so… cold feet!
How involved is your partner in your planning and decision-making around reproductive issues? Do you also find yourself making the decisions and just informing him/her? Do you ever forget to inform him/her?
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Oh, and happy new year. You don’t mind if I skip the whole introspective post, do you? 2007 was good. Hopefully 2008 will be, too!
