Is an ectopic pregnancy a miscarriage?
February 18, 2008It’s weird. It doesn’t feel like one. When I tell people, I say I just had an ectopic pregnancy. I would say I’ve had one miscarriage and one ectopic, not two miscarriages.
It feels more like how I felt when I was diagnosed with the ANA and MTHFR. I am more stressed about whether and how this will effect my ability to have another child in the future than I am sad about the loss of this one.
Is it different because this really was just a collection of cells, whereas the last one had a beating heart, if only for a few weeks? I don’t know if it matters, but it’s just something I’ve been thinking about.
All that matters, at the end of the day is your perception of it.
Sam is very wise.
The beating heart part probably triggered more attachement behaviors on your part. Also, you seemed to never really believe that your were pregnant this time, is that true?
Agreed with Sam. In the end how you process this in terms of your own experience is all that’s important. We all react differently to miscarriage even. I wanted distance. Some want closure. Everyone has their own needs to be met and each person’s is as valid as the next. Thinking of you and sending you some good wishes.
I can definitely understand that perception. There’s a lot more at stake medically, and probably a lot less attachment.
Here’s hoping it was just a one time weirdness occurring.
xoxo.
Of course, the other perspective… I’m sure an ectopic feels like a miscarriage sometimes. If you hadn’t have had your other experience, you might have thought like the uninitiated … that positive pee stick=baby, and then an ectopic might feel worse… I don’t know. (I remember when I was uninitiated.)
Lots of good thoughts for you.
I have to concur with Sam… but I still consider it a loss. Perhaps a different kind, but at that point I think it’s an argument in semantics.
But us lawyer types are always arguing minutiae.
What is the medical question they ask in the ER?
Total pregnancies/ectopics/stillbirths/live births? (I really don’t remember). prima gravida?
It sounds like you’re still trying to get your head around this “crap bar”. Glad the betas are going down.
However it’s classified, it sucks. Good to hear about the declining beta.