I am pretty sure that yesterday’s blood test will show that my beta is officially zero. Whew. It is amazing to me that, although I was only pregnant for five minutes, it took five weeks after the methotrexate for my beta to drop.
The reason I am mostly confident that it is now zero is that I have been having, shall we say, fertility signs, for the past few days and an OPK turned positive this morning. The thing that is alarming is that my LMP was December 22 and the next time we’ll be able to try again will be May, meaning this whole sorry affair took five months. If it takes three months to get pregnant again (I believe this is average for a fertile person?) and I have another ectopic, that will knock out another eight months. Assuming I wouldn’t consider the IVF alternative until/unless I’d had three ectopics, we’re talking September 2009.
I know, I know… talk about getting ahead of myself. Blame my 33rd birthday for looming around the corner. Who knows? I could get pregnant in May and stay that way for nine months. But sometimes when I’m lying in bed at night, my brain starts whirring, and this is what it produces. (For the record, it has already produced a fear of twins and a decision to only transfer one embryo at a time, should it come to that. Although Exhibits A and B are pretty good examples of why that’s no guarantee of a singleton!)
But seeing the signs of fertility return has encouraged me, for whatever reason. In truth, this whole episode will leave me back at my Plan A timing, just now officially high risk. I just have to wait and see what the future will bring.
The waiting can mess with a girl’s mind, right? Totally understandable given how frustrating the last several months have been. I’m hoping your Plan A plays out perfectly from here
I’m hoping you have the same result I did. After a D&E (it took us nine months to get pregnant with that one), I waited one period, took the OPK test, and concieved. I did the same thing, lying there at night thinking about how if it took another nine months, and that one miscarried, and I’m 37, and time is running out… etc. I am hoping very hard that you have the same experience. I now have a healthy seven month old.
I’m so sorry – the waiting and wondering can be the worst part of all this.