Infertility
Ectopic pregnancy
Miscarriage
Stillbirth
Feeling dizzy/ill/uncomfortable/delicate/nervous for nine months
Giving up our simple, easy life
Having a child with special needs
Making any changes to a life that is awfully close to perfect just as it is
Ooh. Such hard worries to carry. Sarah
Girl, you are totally normal. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, but totally normal.
I worried about all of those things too. Life is crazier now, but I love it… (except for teaching.. I can’t wait for the semester to be over so I can be DONE.)
That’s a heavy load up there. And a normal one at that. (((hug)))
Oh dear. That is a lot of worry for one person.
Hang in there.
cat, i feel for you and i’m with you on practically every item. it was such a looong and windy path to achieve my current pregnancy that i still am not sure i believe it. but at the park THIS EVENING it hit me (and at 3am i’m sleepless about just this very topic): our lovely little family of three is likely to be ending (and of course i hope it’s ending b/c the alternative is now unimaginable).
for as much as we wanted another child, i’m in a semi-panic and my emotions are surprising the hell out of me. suddenly, i’m grasping for one more perfect sailing vacation with just the three of us because heaven knows if that will ever happen again. and my time with my daughter – ugh. the link you provided under “missing Gatito” was comforting. sorry for babbling but the timing of this blog entry is almost eery.
I, unfortunately, have no words of wisdom. You know yourself, your family, and will make the right decision.
None of this is judgement or advice, as others have said – completely normal:
With the exception of #1 (sorry), these are exactly my worries. Add to that high risk of PPD (on man did that suck the first time…) and how damn HARD the first year was? I admit that I’m not brave or strong enough to do it again. I’m sure there will be times that I will mourn not having another child, and it’s possible my daughter will resent it as she gets older, but for now I am happy with my decision. I know it’s fear based and that I shouldn’t let fear control me, but I’ve made peace with that.
Right there with you, my dear…I never thought the mere process of *wanting* would be so difficult the second time around.
I wish I could help you. It is not an easy decision.
gah. I don’t even know. I wish it was easier.
Maybe the next post could be “Conflicted (Things I am excited about)”. You might feel better about the possibilities.
Or not, but I have nothing better.
My list was only as follows:
That I won’t get pregnant again ever
That I will and there will be something wrong with the baby
That I will and I will miscarry
But really, it includes all the things that you mentioned. As other people have said, it’s a heavy load to carry. I’m sure there are people who stumble along blissfully optimistic and ignorant about trying to conceive, pregnancy and having another child. I don’t know any of them, of course.
I hope things work out.
Tough stuff, this worrying we do. You are not alone.
Seriously, I think that sometimes is sucks to be a woman because I can guarantee that our spouses don’t worry about stuff like this.
Wow I am going through the same thoughts and worries, except we knw there is no hope on the pregancy side. We started talking about the fact that Jamie will be all alone when we die, she has no cousins or other relatives who will be alive (unless we die now – what a cheery thought!) Right now she has 2 grandmas and 2 uncles and a grandfather who is 77.
Do we want to go through the process of adopting from foster care again? all the risk to our psyches as well as the fact that I am 47 and Mike is 52. Do we have the stamina?