Sometimes I’m not sure whether I want to get pregnant because I’m desperate for another baby or because I’m desperate for the trying/being pregnant phase of my life to be over. A quick conception/healthy pregnancy seems somehow a faster route to the end of this phase than either a drawn-out attempt or coming to terms in my head, without medical imperative, that Gatito will be my one and only.
The superstitious side of me cannot decide whether my ambivalence is a jinx that will ensure I conceive immediately and wind up feeling unhappy about it or never conceive/carry to term and wind up unhappy about that.
