A party invitation arrived, addressed to Gatito and Tata, for a Saturday in August. It is for a little boy who is taken care of part time by one of Tata’s friends. The mom and the nannies are clearly friends and even hang out when the nanny is not on duty. So I’m not at all surprised that Tata was invited.
What did surprise me is the way A and I were specifically excluded. Most party invitations come addressed just to the child and it is understood that, for a young child, a parent will attend. Last year, this mom came to Gatito’s party with her son. If this were for a weekday, I would understand, too.
I asked Tata this morning whether we were invited and she said, “No, it’s just a small party.” !!!!!!
So I said, “Well, I don’t know about that, then. We get so little time with him as it is.”
Then she suggested that we go to a movie.
Which, I mean, fine.
But what the fucking fuck? It’s a small party? I didn’t ask to bring siblings. We are the parents, for god’s sake. And we get precious little time with him and our days as a family of three are rushing to a close. And how rude can you be?!
The annoying thing is that I think Tata will sulk if we don’t let him go, but we can make up some plans.
A thinks Gatito will be upset if we don’t let him go, but I doubt it. Anyway, we can ask him: party with Tata or hanging out with Mommy and Daddy.
What would you do?
Yes, I’d be mad. Obviously I haven’t been presented with any similar situation, but I’m pretty sure my preschooler would not be attending an event that I was excluded from.
Sorry, Tata, I think your friend was out of line on this one. I just don’t see any event – party, playdate, outing – where it is appropriate to include a nanny and exclude parents who want to participate with their own child.
I wouldn’t leave it to Gatito, either. It puts him in the position of having to choose between people he cares about and that’s just not fair to a little kid. I do think you should plan something the three of you can do together on that day though.
Wow, i’m not sure what I’d do but I’d be upset. You don’t have a child for rent… I know, I don’t have a nanny but even my sister gently asks if she can steal one of my children for a special outing… it’s not assumed. I don’t think it’d be OK with me to lose my Saturday when your time is limited and these last days without an infant are SOOOO special…
yes, I’d be ticked off. I am in the same boat as far as having limited time, and I would NOT be cool with giving him up.
Remember, he’s your child, not hers!
I agree with twirl, might that kind of decision be a lot to ask of Gatito?
I just wanted to chime in and say that this whole situation sucks, and man am I glad that I’m not the one having to deal with it. Sorry that you are!
(For the record, I’m VERY hesitant to give up my precious weekend time with my kids, and not scared at all to tell anyone that. Including Gramma. Might be a little trickier with Tata, though…)
I’d be mad.
Back when I was working, The Boy was invited to a birthday party for a boy he knew only through his babysitter (and The Boy wasn’t talking yet so I didn’t know anything about this child until the invite arrived). The party was on a weekend and the invite was addressed to The Boy and “parents” so we went, although it was weird not actually knowing a single person there. It would have been weirder for me, though, if my babysitter had taken him.
This just happened to us this week. I declined the invitation because 1) it was a 45 minute drive and 2) we get so precious little time with them too. I wasn’t mad, but I felt rude for declining, but I don’t want to spend 3-4 hours (with drive time) on a sunday after noon on a birthday party with people I don’t know.
I probably would have been mad if I’d asked if we (parents) could come and they said no.
OH HELL NO.
I would be pissed, too. If I as the parent can’t come, neither can my kid.
(I would seriously be so, so mad!)