Galloping Cats

I recently finished reading The Help. Not, alas, in time for book club, so I’m turning to you guys.

(Spoiler ahead.)

I totally cried at the end, when Adelaide had to leave Mae Mobley.

First, I cried because I was identifying with Adelaide, and I felt the pain of the separation from the child she loved, and the pain Mae Mobley clearly felt at being separated from the woman who had cared for her and loved her from the time she was born.

Then suddenly, I realized.

Gatito is about to be separated from Tata, the woman who has cared for him and loved him for the past three and a half years, since he was 15 months old. And she from him. Ella and Tata have bonded with each other as well, and Tata may miss her, but Ella will soon forget. But Gatito, UGH. What a devastatingly sad thing to have happen.

And yet, this is how it works, this hiring people to help take care of your kids– and 3.5 years with the same person is actually a pretty long run. This is one of the many, many reasons that having a nanny take care of our kids while we work is not having someone else raise them. We are the ones that will always be here, showering them with love and affection, every day, forever and ever.

That fact should ease things for Gatito, but I can’t forget that he is still losing someone he loves. Someone who has been there every day with him, who helped him through severe anxiety, who helped teach him to walk and talk and use the potty. Who played with him and taught him and just plain loved him. We were lucky to have her for as long as we did.

(Tata’s friend did accept the job. We are grateful to have someone taking over who already has a relationship with the kids, especially with Gatito. She starts June 1.)